


Hell Froze Over

by delsalami



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Friendship, Gen, Insecure Jared Kleinman, Jared Kleinman Being an Asshole, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, Jared Kleinman Tries, or it's meant to be i don't know how well i did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-22 20:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23033602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delsalami/pseuds/delsalami
Summary: As Jared ate lunch in his physics teacher’s classroom by himself because even his physics teacher was eating lunch in the teachers' lounge, he angrily told himself that the day he cried would be the day that Hell froze over.So Hell froze over when Jared got home that day, apparently, because Jared cried. A lot. For a very long time.
Relationships: Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, If you want
Kudos: 72





	Hell Froze Over

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my first, like, real fanfic. I meant to get someone to proofread it but I was too embarrassed to get someone I know personally to read my musical fanfiction so if you see any errors lmk. I welcome constructive criticism
> 
> anyway Jared I love you, you horrible little man

Evan and Connor had become fast friends, after their initial misunderstandings had been cleared up. Jared still drove Evan to school three or four times a week, but where Evan used to wait for Jared to get his bag out of the backseat of the car, he now gave Jared a quick "thanks" and headed toward the school to meet Connor before the bell.

Jared would never ever ever admit under any circumstances that he was lonely, but fuck, he didn't have any friends and he was alone now and it was making him sad.

So Jared approached Evan and Connor, who were sitting together at lunch, and he said, "Hey, Evan, blink twice if you're being held hostage."

Connor rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Jared had expected Evan to fake a laugh, maybe invite him to sit down, but Evan's nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed and he said, "Screw off, Jared. You're such a jerk. I have a _real_ friend now, instead of your _family_ friend crap, so you can stop pretending to care about me and hang out with _your_ real friends."

And Jared had a lot of things he could have done. He could've said that he didn't pretend to care about Evan; he genuinely cared about him. He could've admitted that he didn't have any real friends. He could've begged for Evan's forgiveness. But he didn't do any of that, just ground out a "Fine" through clenched teeth and turned around and walked away and ate lunch by himself again and didn't, did not, not ever, cry at all.

As Jared ate lunch in his physics teacher's classroom by himself because even his physics teacher was eating lunch in the teachers' lounge, he angrily told himself that the day he cried would be the day that Hell froze over.

So Hell froze over when Jared got home that day, apparently, because Jared cried. A lot. For a very long time.

And then, once he'd wiped his eyes for the last time, he tried to figure out how to make Evan need him again.

And he came up empty. Because Evan lived close enough to the school that he could walk, and he did walk most days when Jared hadn't offered him a ride, and Evan had a mom and a therapist and a friend who cared about him in no uncertain terms, and Jared had nothing to offer.

Jared had nothing.

The next day, Jared texted Evan to ask if he wanted a ride to school. As an apology. Evan had immediately responded "No." and Jared knew that a tiny gesture as an apology wouldn't work even though it was all he had.

Three days after that, Jared drove to Evan's house at 4:57 p.m. He knocked on the door, and Connor answered holding a twenty.

"Um," Jared said, taking a step back.

"Um," Connor said in return, staring at Jared intensely, scrutinizingly.

"Can I talk to Evan?" Jared requested with a feignedly measured tone. Connor hadn't been part of the plan, although he should have been, because Evan and Connor had been practically attached at the hip recently.

"Are you gonna be an asshole?" Connor responded, mimicking Jared's inflection.

Jared wanted to joke, because he felt shitty, and jokes were funny and made him feel less shitty. He wanted to say something like, "No promises," or something equally asshole-ish, but he desperately needed Evan's forgiveness. So he just muttered, "No."

"That's new. One sec," Connor said, and slammed the door in Jared's face. Jared watched the curtain behind the window in the door flutter, hoping the door would open again.

It did, after a minute. Evan was there. He'd be wringing his hands, Jared knew, if he didn't still have that cast on. "What?" he asked.

"I'm an asshole," Jared started. He was sure he'd had a speech prepared. He had forgotten all of it.

"Yes," Evan agreed. He looked relatively calm, but Jared secretly knew him better than that. Evan was biting the inside of his cheek and his index finger was tapping against his thumb, and that meant he was anxious. Jared felt shitty. 

"I wanted to say I’m sorry," Jared said. He paused again. Where could he even start? Was it the time to make excuses? Was it the time to tell Evan how devastatingly—not lonely—friendless he was?

"So do it," Evan said.

Oh, yeah. "I'm so, so sorry. I always thought of you as my best friend. I shouldn’t have brushed you off all the time, or downplayed how much I really, actually care about you."

"So why did you?" Evan asked.

The million dollar question. Why did Jared pretend he had other friends to eat lunch with, only to go spend his lunch period in the computer lab or physics classroom alone? Why did Jared pretend he only spoke to Evan so that his parents would pay his car insurance? Why did Jared insist they weren’t friends, that they were family friends, and that there was a difference?

"I don't know," Jared said. Hell would freeze over before he'd admit the real reason.

"Okay," Evan took a step back and made to close the door.

"Wait," Jared exclaimed, moving his hands as if to grab Evan's wrist, even though he wouldn't ever touch Evan without being told he could first, and he wasn't close enough to grab Evan's wrist anyway.

Evan hesitated.

Jared remembered that Hell froze over four days ago, when Jared cried for two hours in his bedroom.

"This is stupid," Jared said, to preface his pathetic and mean excuse, "But I wanted you to need me more than I needed you. But fuck, Evan, I really need you. I always needed you more than you needed me, I think, because I never gave you anything better than, like, a ride to school, and you were—are—a reliable friend and a genuinely good person."

Evan nodded. He stepped back again, and Jared braced himself for the door to slam in his face again, but Evan opened it wider and said, "Do you wanna come in?"

Most times, when Jared gave Evan a ride home from school, Evan would ask the same thing, and Jared would, 75% of the time, refuse, saying that he had better things to do, even though he didn't.

It occurred to Jared that Evan did need him, because Evan’s empty house must have felt as lonely as Jared had (definitely not) felt since Connor and Evan became friends.

"Yes, please," Jared said. He gave Evan a shaky smile and stepped over the threshold.


End file.
